As babies we were already made to feel the consequences: it’s no matter of course that we live. Out of a living belly we come into cold, rather dead surroundings, stuffed with things. We are extensively separated from everything that lives.
Some of our first and most incisive experiences turn out to be: pain, separation, loneliness, fear. We are not just existing. The destruction of our original boundlessness (no separation of ego and others, inside and outside) is immediately begun and never ended. You are at the mercy of grown-ups, you’re locked up, blinded, forced and doodled, forced into tenderness and hygienic measures, in your interest and for your security.
You are weak and therefore you have not much of a choice but let yourself blackmail to this kind of life. Your needs stay unsatisfied. You’re offered substitutes, consumption instead. Sexuality is taboo. Children need to cuddle toy animals. Your life is determined by fear.
The consciousness of permanent threat is hardly to bear and you develop mechanisms which help you to survive.
To this is connected that you protect the ones who bust/have busted you, because simultaneously you live with the feeling that especially they saved your life, that without them and their securities you can never live.
Because of this, in ever new versions you may repeat experiences you’d already made many times, hoping that this time finally all will end up in a quite different way. In the end you have nevertheless confirmed that to you the same shit happens again and again.
This for example can happen in such a way: you’re searching people, whom you can do things together with, with whom you can have discussions. You can find some, who let themselves electrify by your liveliness, your determination; they listen to you, want to talk with you, most of all about themselves (and you).
As soon as they feel threatened, they move back, block, make themselves tight.
Or else you become afraid of so much eagerness to fix on you, you prefer to run away before being killed and eaten up.
In any case, you find out that again (or still) you’re all alone. That it’s “the others”, who just don’t get on, that they are to blame that everything stays like it used to be, because they want nothing to change. You feel yourself, “wrong somehow”, “nobody like you”, just like “lonesome rider”, “ everybody has to fight for her/himself.
Maybe you don’t want to change anything, because you prefer the security of what you already know, it may be ever so hard to take rather than the security of that which you don’t know.
The fear of the pains which you might have to go through when you’d face some conflicts prevents you from realizing the pains of not getting in touch with the conflicts.
To discuss this consequently means the possibility to put everything into question and may change your whole life. Since this could lead to the liberation from prison structures, you can count on the fierce requirement to punish by all those who profit by these structures, because they themselves try to survive without having much to change and at the same time to as much as possible.
If you let come to your consciousness what’s going on with you and around you, you perceive that “life pure” really is not to stand.
In doing so you may have in mind that the last alternative to life is death. An alternative to a bad life seems to be not to live at all.
“ Death is none of our concern.
For disintegration is not to be felt.
What cannot be felt, is none of our concern.”
If we want to reach a conscious relation to our existence, under the set conditions it presupposes a conscious relation to our deaths. If the discussion about death actually is carried on, the favored way to it is as mystical as can be. Then life is imputed to a “profound sense” – stale traditional Christian or rather concerning meditatively to the far east, you may choose with guru or without. This sublime-profound sense is explained by “something higher that we can grasp” with prolonging until eternity (“eternal life” as substitute for your not being (with pleasure/”really”) alive. Since life is not self-evident, there has to be any explanation for it.
With death and dying you only get into touch as far as they are to be consumed as well, for instance featured in the media. Looking at dismembered corpses (“plane accident, how dreadful!”) the potato chips get stuck in your throat. Much easier they will be swallowed when you watch the next film and drink the next beer with the never ending joy to be alive, life has got you again.
You stay at home, where you are secure, where nothing unknown happens to you. Occupied territories, crashes, battles – everyday-life-experiences in small families – officially exist only outside.
The reason why it is so important to get “what is going on in the world”, to realize violence, dying only there, is that these themes concern you directly but in this way are kept at a certain distance from you. The fear of the present time as well as the one of the confrontation with the past leads to putting all hopes into the future and like some kind of last possibility, into death, when you shall be “delivered from all passion”.
If your not existing any more, you feel nothing any more, nothing hurts you any more, you need not to be afraid of violence any more. One way to live your life in this direction of death orientation is to think and feel by means of impossibilities: first you look at what all doesn’t work, the rest you put up with as life. Now and then you affirm yourself of this kind of living by overtaking heavy blows (“with what did I deserve this now?”).
If you over and over again have been kept from living, if you cannot live and somehow know “I don’t even really live”, sooner or later this comes up again and again: you never lived. You don’t want to die because you didn’t live, and you’re afraid that you finally have missed the last chance to do so. The fear of death turns out to be the fear of life.
Our whole society is based on the principle of death that leads to murder/suicide.
By sexual repression right from the beginning, with the assistance of families, schools, leisure time arrangements apparatus of therapies everything that lives is combated by ( gentle or even brute) force. Everything that could make us realize to see quite clearly that we are put at the mercy of others/put ourselves at the mercy of others, is repressed out of our consciousness. With everything which we don’t want to remember. With everything which has to do with death and the fear of it we can be blackmailed.
With the fear of dying, or pains, of violence, of battles we don’t want to have it out with, because this puts our whole violent life (why and what do we fight for in our lives?) into question.
Without our armament of securities, of things to be deemed unchangeable, of being adults, we are weak. Weakness we don’t want to be called to our minds. Neither becoming old nor diseases and never childhood. The fear of death presupposes consciousness of dying. The discussion about it is a taboo as the one about sexuality. Murder not to be concerned by this “sad chapter” (of your history at all, especially favored the often tested plunge into consumption takes place.
Things, paid manipulations, life out of tins, help you to be always beautiful, young, important, let you feel that you (still) are “living” gives you security. You are told.
Your body which, after long years lasting struggles, you’ve usually accepted as an enemy, will in a nice way come closer to you again- as advertisements are faking.
It is reminded to baby feelings, an unseparated way of being. The goal of not being separated seems to approach to an available distance.
Nevertheless – not everybody is taken in by that. Sometimes you even get that how the shit is working. But how to get rid of that? How to satisfy the needs of not being separated? One possibility to achieve that is by orgasms, when you can come over your own borders, when you can cancel for a short time what you’re used to realize as “ego”.
Women, besides, can get babies, by giving birth they bring themselves into the situation to break their own limits. By that other means should the process of giving birth – apart from going through pains and suffering – become so incredible , unique?
Another possibility to experience being boundless is by the consumption of drugs. You want to get more, feel more, to reach an expanded consciousness, to achieve a boundless perception, seems to be satisfied. In the end you remain with a narrowed perception, and the more sober you are the more grossly you fall into the cold, which does not seem to be cold any more but only boring to you.
What started together with the want to change, ends with great plans and having conversations about changing or with the open resignation of having-already-tried-all. The great power is gone. Your loneliness remains, which you only can stand, because over and over again you narcotize yourself, swallow, nip all your aggressions in the bud.
Your whish to live, to change has become to “all the same”, “want to be left alone”, which very often leads to the rejection of children (trouble, stress, end of the freedom to go on with dying “in peace”) or their idealisation (when they serve in some playing recreation and usually live in a secure distance). As little as to your own (former) weakness you want to be reminded to your own (former) liveliness. You may try to get over your own ego, to be boundless again, by over and over searching the proximity of death as possibility to burst your “ego”-limits, to crack your body-armour-plating.
When you once again have just got off with life, you sense: you are existing. At the same time you make sure: there still is a way out of not-being.
You test death and amazed you state: not to be is not grave, only to die is grave. In case of doubt you prefer rather to fall back upon non-existence than to change your life.
Or else you may look for people, who are addicted and live in even stronger affinity to suicide than you and in the delimitation to them you feel your own being alive. You move to the proximity of death, let others die for you. With which you stay in old Christian traditions and within the community of those: who let Christ die for them. Violence against some enables others to live.
The more you understand of what is happening to you and around you, the more of it you take into your consciousness, the more of dying and death parts you have to digest. If you avoid to make the discussion about it, only the mechanisms with which you contribute to the maintaining of what keeps you away from life, are changed.
You may throw yourself resignedly into illnesses or drugs or an “everyday idyll in spite of all”, for instance. Maybe, you “won’t stand it anymore”, decide to cope with “the pigs”, which means: to be as good or even better than them. The goal is: to be the winner of the last battle. Either they or we. Either I or you. Someone will have to die for it. Before the great ideas have to die, before they catch me, I let rather kill myself. Kamikaze. The principle of murder remains not questioned in depth. The more you dare to confront yourself with death, the less awful death is, the less you can be blackmailed to defend a dead liveliness forced upon you, and instead of this use your power to fight for your life instead of fighting for your survival.
The idea just of this alternative is not to be supposed to come into your head, because you cannot fight for life all alone. To get over your own borders – without destroying yourself at the same time – you can only achieve with others. The attempt to live together with many others, to discuss, not to accept the set limits of mine (my stuff, thing, space, problem, friend, etc) and yours any more could be the beginning to escape the wake of death.
The second article was read in compassionate mood as they wanted to have children while they had now a pleasant intimacy. Although Edward had lost some close friends and relatives at his very young age, so this reading was intense for both, as Sophie was looking for her stability. The ‘rigor mortis’ was present like a ordered thought returning home.
Many activities in the body, like heartbeat, function of the bladder, of gut, sexuality, breathing, moving of muscles, are working under the principle of tension and relaxation; that means, the sexual (muscle-) tension is build up more and more by excitation (in breathing by streaming in of air) and discharges by muscle-convulsion/orgasm (in heart, the heart muscle contracts suddenly). This tension/relaxation is controlled by the autonomic nervous system (unconscious), the ‘sympatichus’ causes flexing the ‘vagus’ relaxation. By the permanent suppression against sexuality your ability to relax is destroyed (in the sense of ‘somebody destroys’ and not ‘is already destroyed’), because every list full relaxation/letting loose or to let oneself fall is connected with pleasure, widening and feeling of streaming. But this reminds to the strong (pleasure-) feelings of childhood, but in the same time to the meanwhile spiritualized prohibitions and taboos, too. That means for the organism that flexing is going to be more or less going to be a permanent condition. Virtual sexual excitation and relaxation are list full. The excitation is list full because of the expected relaxation. But if because of moral reasons or prohibitions and others, satisfaction is not possible any more, the excitation is going to be unpleasant and even painful. Sexual excitation is tried to be avoided, for example by cramping of the pelvic muscles (pelvis is always kept back), by flexing the muscles with press together the thighs, by permanent condition of ‘breathing-in’ (prevents that the list full relaxation of the ‘breathing-out’ can come until the pelvic).
The paring of rage is working similar (for example in permanent cramped chin musculature). Out of the permanent paring of sexual excitation there develop armor-plating of muscles, which have the function to block up each sign of pleasure, each exciting liveliness and to kill it (equivalent to this is the armor-plating of character, that means paring by special ‘coolness’ or other ‘terrific’ or not so hot qualities of the character). The consequence is: orgastic impotence, sexual relaxation is not possible or only with sadistic manhood-violence (phantasies) or with masochistic rape (phantasies). That what is always said to be a potent man (permanent stiff penis) is even more the expression of orgastic impotence, because it is the unability to relax. Seen like this the permanent production of penis-symbols (from church towers to the missile) could be a consequence out of the permanent sexual flexing (just in church and military).
Wilhelm Reich discovered that the tension/relaxation is also working in very small creatures, for example in one-cell organism/single cells, by pulsation. Besides this, in the meantime with tension/relaxation there is running a charging and discharging with the ORGON-energy. ORGON-energy is a high effective energy, which is in the atmosphere. The ORGON-radiation is outside more strong than inside houses, in dry and sunny weather such more high than in humid weather. People take the ORGON-energy directly out of the atmosphere (cells over their plasma), a surplus of energy is discharged by orgasm (convulsion of cell-plasma). So the orgasm is not any subordinate phenomenon of the body, but is the life-function of the whole organism, as it is for its smallest parts. The disturbing of the orgasm-function has far-reaching consequences and is the reason for at least a part of cancer diseases.
That there is a connection between sexuality and cancer you can assume because a big part of the cancer tumours are at the breast, prostate and uterus. If tissue is all the time rhythm tension-charge-discharge-relaxation of the cell is only possible in a bad way. CO2 cannot be taken away well. For the cells that all means a state of suffocation and leads to a disturbed balance between nucleus and cell plasma, the plasma cannot undertake the function of discharging any more, for the nucleus there stays just one possibility to get rid of the energy: cell dividing. The fast cell-dividing in cancer-tissue are, you can say like this, a panic reaction of the cells threatened by suffocation.
The actual cancer-tumour is one of the last steps of the cancer disease. Before there comes the permanent unability to extensive sexual relaxation, orgasm. It is the sexual resignation, that means not to fight any more for satisfaction but to fight the sexual excitation of all what could cause list full feelings, with cramp and avoiding. The opposite of pleasure is fear. Pleasure is connected with warm, wide and relaxation, but fear is equivalent to tensioned carriage, cramp and cold. The irradiation with ORGON-energy in the ORGON-accumulator has strong ‘vagoton’ effect, that means relaxing, cramp-loosening, against pain, tumours are going back. By loosening the cramp sexual are developing. But the reason for the cancer, the sexual resignation, is not abolished by ORGON-irradiation. People with cancer could sometimes be delivered from tumours, but they were in confrontation with the difficulty to satisfy wishes which had come up. They got fear to be hunted, fear of suffocation, troubles with balance, fear to go, to fall down. The fear of falling orgasm as reason for disease, because after a long time suddenly sexual excitation was possible again. Orgasm-fear/falling-fear, that means, to make hard to cramp and to freeze, not to lose the support. By systematical education of the children to unsexual creatures the fear of the orgasm/falling is a firm part of society: the feeling of dizziness for example, if it goes down steep anywhere (many Indians don’t know dizziness) or in the shape of security-thinking (I need my training, my school, family… even if the suppression is already clear) or in hierarchy-systems (the higher the hierarchy the bigger the fear to fall).
Most troubles of the orgon function of charge and discharge have their reason in childhood. The moralistic stiffed and armour-plated adults are unable to allow and to reciprocate the wishes of children for pleasure and extensive sexual satisfaction. Although babies can experience orgasms with convulsions at the hole body by sucking at the breast many mothers spread the biologic opinion, that sucking is just for the nutrition of the child, with some consequences that the mother is not allowed to feel pleasure because of the sucking of the child. Against this ideology mechanism (so in the end racistic) attitude. The nutrition is-you can say- is subordinate effect of the satisfaction in this act of sucking at the strong ORGON-charged nipple. You can easily imagine, what deadly feelings are left in the completely sexual baby by the only anti-pleasure and un-orgonotic reaction of the world of adults.
There was a warm blood inside their relation and the ‘rusalki’ were not present for the swimming events near the house of the lake where they had their fun, before engaging into the coldness of things outside their reality asylum. To embrace a tasty fruit in scent when they took care of their garden by a mental insurrection against the ruined conspiracy of every government and the nature of their things. Edward and Sophie used a thoughtful language across their spirit and it was a sunlight way that endured the philosophy of the thinking in the age of not thinking at all.